My Take on Conventionalism

Note: The intention of this article is not to portray conventionalism as a bad thing. Conventions are necessary, where they have to be, but this is to question the authenticity of these norms and to correct the notion that doing things conventionally is the only possible way/method.

I hate a lot of things. I actually do, but most importantly I hate the fact that a lot of persons are always very bothered about what people will say when they act or talk and do a whole lot of stuff.

I know you care about what other people think of you and that’s simply because you are human so, naturally, you want to be liked and respected, but how much you care, how much you are bothered by what others think about you is entirely up to you.

From my experience, conventionalism is a major reason why people are always so worried about people’s thoughts and reactions. See, we have become so familiar with the trend of things that the littlest alteration in them has us thinking and thinking.

We have patterned our lives/some aspects of our lives according to mediocrity.
We don’t want to think of a different option.
We don’t want to look at things from a new angle.
We are not receptive to new thoughts, ideas, perceptions all because we feel that this is how, why, where it should be done.

Who says it has to be so?
Who says it can’t change?
Who says there aren’t other ways to do this thing?

I know we have traditions and culture and in no way am I dismissing them. Following them is good if the intention behind it is a good one and if they truly mean something to you, but following them so you don’t displease society, families, and friends is very ridiculous.

Sit down. Think.
Why are you so rigid?
Are you truly living your life?

You see, if you continue worrying about what people will say, you wouldn’t live your life to the maximum. At the end, you’d figure that you didn’t live truly.

You’ll find out that you’ve spent years worrying, without actually doing what is necessary, what you had to do. Unconsciously, you’d be imprisoned, by your own thoughts.

Society is rooted in individualism. That’s one fact we all forget. So all existing societal norms originated from a person or a group of persons. Over time, it stayed, and everyone began to follow the same thread.

Let me list some societal norms in Nigeria that I actually consider very annoying:

Domesticating only Women: I believe that being domesticated is something good, and everyone, to an extent, should be; it’s for your advantage and no one else’s. However, in Nigeria, we’ve made it seem like it’s only the female child that should be domesticated. In a typical Nigerian home, the female child does most of the house chores(cleaning, cooking, etc) and they grow up thinking that is their responsibility. Over the years, this has made the female child feel like that’s all they are good for and they can’t do more. In other words, it has succeeded in making them feel inferior.
The Right-Hand syndrome: “God that gave us both the right and left hands, He didn’t know what he was doing?” This is my first thought anytime I hear someone complaining about the left hand. You should eat with your right hand. You must not greet people with your left hand. You must not pass/take things from anyone, especially elders with your left hands. The moment you do this, you are regarded as someone disrespectful. Why? Why is it like that? Why is the right hand the “right” one? Does passing an object with the left hand rather than the right really matters? Does it change the outlook or quality?
Early Marriage: Marriage is a good thing. At the same time, it’s important to note that we are different humans, and so different things matter to us at different points in time of our lives. There’s no age when one can’t get married, so who says a female child has to get married before 25? Why are we always reminding the men that they are in their 30s now and they should bring a wife? Though they could be some advantages to getting married early, but still don’t make anyone be pressured to get married. You got married at 23 and because of that, every female around you must get married at that same age? Oh please, stop it. You don’t need to remind them. They know their age. Let’s not talk about those that make people feel like they are not human whenever they mention that they have zero intention to get married.
Nigerian’s version of how a man should act: The world is tough already, without having to worry about acting a certain way. Nigerians have this invinsible course outline that contains how a man should act; what he should do, what he shouldn’t. Apart from the fact that this is annoying, it also increases the chance of breeding a toxic male. Boys shouldn’t cry. Boys aren’t meant to feel things as deeply as girls. Boys should toughen up. Boys shouldn’t like pink or other colors that are termed “girly”. These guidelines are so unnecessary. These boys are humans, and they have emotions too. Know this and know peace.

These are just a few of the numerous societal norms that exist.

There is already a problem that these norms exist, but more problems arise when people try to pattern their lives according to these things. That is what I hate.