SEVEN THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO IN 2022.

In 2022, do better.

You have always been hearing about things you should do in the new year; you have been seeing posts about it, but no one talks about things you should not do. We don’t shed enough light on things you should not do, and that is why this short blog post is for you.

In this blog post, we have compiled seven things you should not do in 2022(and even beyond). I hope you find this helpful!

SEVEN THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS YEAR!

1) Remaining in that toxic relationship for whatever reason- As the advocate of soft life that I am, I like to preach soft life everywhere I go. You’ve done enough. You’ve tried, and you deserve happiness and peace of mind no matter how costly the price may seem. You’ve been with him/her hoping that a change will come forth but you forget that you keep damaging yourself in that process. This year, leave.

2) Having sex as a result of peer pressure: You’ve always been advised not to do stuff just because others ate doing it, so now why would you have sex just because everyone around you seems to be doing it? I know some people have made it their duty in life to make you feel less cause they know you are not having sex at the moment. You hear the hint of condemnation in their voice. Please ignore it. If you must have sex, please know what you are getting yourself into, and seek enough knowledge.

PC: aestheticsflatlay

3) Resisting growth: Might I remind you that you could experience growth in any form? In 2022, open your mind and self to growth. It should be “to learn, relearn, and unlearn.” You will be doing yourself a disfavor if you think you have learned enough and don’t need to anymore. So, don’t hinder your growth for any reason.

4) Neglecting your financial life: When I talk about this, I’m not only speaking about expanding your means of income. I’m talking about saving, spending wisely, investing in stuff, and a whole lot of stuff that is related to having a healthy financial life. In 2022, take your financial life very seriously.

PC: aestheticsflatlay

5) Leaving God out of stuff: Do not do this 2022 thingy alone. You can’t afford to do it alone. Involve God in all your plans. Walk the year with God. Do everything with him, literally. Crave intimacy with him. You are not extra when you involve God in every aspect of your life. If you involved God in everything you did last year, that’s great. Do the same this year, even more.

6) Dealing with issues alone: I know you don’t want to bother your friends but remember that we all need one another at some point. You can’t achieve it all alone. Ask for help. Speak with your friends when you are bothered about something. Let them in on what is going on with you. The journey can be very tiring but remember you don’t have to go through it alone too.

PC: aestheticsflatlay

7)Denying your emotions and feelings: It is important for the mind if you admit your feelings and emotions. Denying these two things will do you no good. Admit whatever it is that you feel, whether good emotions or bad ones. Admit them. In addition, be more expressive too.

There! You have it! Seven things you should not do this year. I’m sure you needed one or two from the list. Trust me, I caught my sub too…so all of you should catch yours too. (inserts laughing emoji)

xoxo💜

PC: aestheticsflatlay

Saying goodbye to 2021

I can only say for myself how I began the year. In one word, I felt empty. I could guess about yours too, and be correct or not. But one thing is certain, and it is what everyone has been saying, “2021 was filled a lot of difficulties but above it all, it’s my best year yet, and I’m grateful for it.

I’m sure we’ve been seeing stuff along that line. It swells my heart with happiness when I read words like that; people ending the year on a grateful note. People being intentional about ending it on a grateful note. Yesterday, I took time to write about the year, more like I was actually writing about 2020, I guess I had a lot of unsettled scores with that year, so yes, I took time writing about how moving from 2020 to 2021 was. You don’t want to read it, trust me(inserts laughing emoji.)

…but this isn’t about me. It’s about you. There’s you who started this year and wrote down your goals, and slowly, step by step, you accomplished them all. You ticked all of them off your list. I don’t say it every time, but I’m proud of you, of your resilience, of your strong will. I’m proud of the fact that you stood, countless times, even after falling. I know you put so much time, energy, effort, and all other things to accomplish your goals and I know you are happy that you are. Please be. You did the work. You paid your dues, and you deserve to be the happiest person. You should give yourself enough credit.

There is also you that as the year is ending, a lot of emotions are running through your mind. You are glad you are still standing. You are grateful, but a part of you can’t help but think that you didn’t do enough, that you could have done better. A part of you wants to sit down to write the year’s achievement like everyone is doing. A part of you is saying that once again, you’ve done nothing for the whole of 365 days. A part of you is telling you that you achieved little things only.

I could come on here and tell you that all your feelings are valid and say you aren’t the only one who feels that way, and that it is okay. I could say all these, and you still might feel bad. This is me trying to make you feel better still because it wouldn’t be nice to enter into the new year sad. It sucks.

You are where you need to be right now. You are in no competition with anyone…maybe you feel you didn’t achieve anything or you achieved little, sit, and think well. You’ll realize you achieved a lot too…maybe you didn’t achieve what you wished to, but you achieved too. You are not useless, you have the capacity to do, to do more, and you can.

I’ll leave you with this: In the early days of the new year, you should do some thinking, strategy, and planning. Think about things you did and didn’t do in 2021. Think of how they affected you. Set realistic goals. Revisit the goals you penned down years ago, that you didn’t achieve them. Go back to them now. You may be in a better position to achieve them. Seek help. Talk to people. Build relationships. Network. Expand your circle, if you have to. Take risks. Take that course. Attend that seminar. Pitch your business. Send that mail. Go for that hang-out. Fight imposter syndrome with all your strength. Live, love, heal, and learn.

In 2022, do all you can to be better; better than how you were in 2020, even better than how you were in 2021. Do not resist growth. Try not to resist growth.

As we say goodbye to 2021, I want you to leave with no regrets. I want you to leave the year with your bag of lessons, happy that you have them. As we say goodbye, I want you to leave with your heart filled, with joy and positivity for the new year ahead. As we say goodbye, I want you to know that you tried, you really tried, you did all you were capable of. As we say goodbye, I want you to enter into the year with good energy.

Penned from the deepest corner of my heart.

P: C– @aestheticsflatlay

My Take on Conventionalism

Note: The intention of this article is not to portray conventionalism as a bad thing. Conventions are necessary, where they have to be, but this is to question the authenticity of these norms and to correct the notion that doing things conventionally is the only possible way/method.

I hate a lot of things. I actually do, but most importantly I hate the fact that a lot of persons are always very bothered about what people will say when they act or talk and do a whole lot of stuff.

I know you care about what other people think of you and that’s simply because you are human so, naturally, you want to be liked and respected, but how much you care, how much you are bothered by what others think about you is entirely up to you.

From my experience, conventionalism is a major reason why people are always so worried about people’s thoughts and reactions. See, we have become so familiar with the trend of things that the littlest alteration in them has us thinking and thinking.

We have patterned our lives/some aspects of our lives according to mediocrity.
We don’t want to think of a different option.
We don’t want to look at things from a new angle.
We are not receptive to new thoughts, ideas, perceptions all because we feel that this is how, why, where it should be done.

Who says it has to be so?
Who says it can’t change?
Who says there aren’t other ways to do this thing?

I know we have traditions and culture and in no way am I dismissing them. Following them is good if the intention behind it is a good one and if they truly mean something to you, but following them so you don’t displease society, families, and friends is very ridiculous.

Sit down. Think.
Why are you so rigid?
Are you truly living your life?

You see, if you continue worrying about what people will say, you wouldn’t live your life to the maximum. At the end, you’d figure that you didn’t live truly.

You’ll find out that you’ve spent years worrying, without actually doing what is necessary, what you had to do. Unconsciously, you’d be imprisoned, by your own thoughts.

Society is rooted in individualism. That’s one fact we all forget. So all existing societal norms originated from a person or a group of persons. Over time, it stayed, and everyone began to follow the same thread.

Let me list some societal norms in Nigeria that I actually consider very annoying:

  1. Domesticating only Women: I believe that being domesticated is something good, and everyone, to an extent, should be; it’s for your advantage and no one else’s. However, in Nigeria, we’ve made it seem like it’s only the female child that should be domesticated. In a typical Nigerian home, the female child does most of the house chores(cleaning, cooking, etc) and they grow up thinking that is their responsibility. Over the years, this has made the female child feel like that’s all they are good for and they can’t do more. In other words, it has succeeded in making them feel inferior.
  2. The Right-Hand syndrome: “God that gave us both the right and left hands, He didn’t know what he was doing?” This is my first thought anytime I hear someone complaining about the left hand. You should eat with your right hand. You must not greet people with your left hand. You must not pass/take things from anyone, especially elders with your left hands. The moment you do this, you are regarded as someone disrespectful. Why? Why is it like that? Why is the right hand the “right” one? Does passing an object with the left hand rather than the right really matters? Does it change the outlook or quality?
  3. Early Marriage: Marriage is a good thing. At the same time, it’s important to note that we are different humans, and so different things matter to us at different points in time of our lives. There’s no age when one can’t get married, so who says a female child has to get married before 25? Why are we always reminding the men that they are in their 30s now and they should bring a wife? Though they could be some advantages to getting married early, but still don’t make anyone be pressured to get married. You got married at 23 and because of that, every female around you must get married at that same age? Oh please, stop it. You don’t need to remind them. They know their age. Let’s not talk about those that make people feel like they are not human whenever they mention that they have zero intention to get married.
  4. Nigerian’s version of how a man should act: The world is tough already, without having to worry about acting a certain way. Nigerians have this invinsible course outline that contains how a man should act; what he should do, what he shouldn’t. Apart from the fact that this is annoying, it also increases the chance of breeding a toxic male. Boys shouldn’t cry. Boys aren’t meant to feel things as deeply as girls. Boys should toughen up. Boys shouldn’t like pink or other colors that are termed “girly”. These guidelines are so unnecessary. These boys are humans, and they have emotions too. Know this and know peace.

These are just a few of the numerous societal norms that exist.

There is already a problem that these norms exist, but more problems arise when people try to pattern their lives according to these things. That is what I hate.

Why GenZ is the most stressed Generation

Members of the GenZ are anyone born between 1997 and 2012.
Everyone is stressed these days but In-depth research has it that GenZ is the most stressed generation right now.

More than nine in ten Gen Z adults (91 percent) admitted to having experienced at least one physical or emotional symptom due to stress, such as lacking energy, interest, or motivation (55 percent) or feeling sad or depressed. (58 percent) Only half of all GenZers feel like they are actually doing enough to manage their stress.

I know a lot of GenZs that are stressed. An explanation is that as people get older, they have experienced and survived more stressful occurrences and have adopted a “this too shall pass” attitude which makes it easier for them to adapt to things. However, the same can’t be said for GenZers as they are young and have little or no experience.

There are real stressors for younger adults that I think older generations can’t relate to because they didn’t have to experience them.

What stresses them?

1) The present state of the country; Nigeria. Everyone I asked had something to say about this. It is one of the most significant sources of their stress. However, this does not come as a surprise because I know how bad the country is now; and nothing seems to be the same. Rather it just gets worse.

School kidnappings, sexual harassment, inflation, and rising suicide rates dominate the news cycle. The absence of positive news is disturbing for all, but for GenZers it reminds them of how uncertain the future is for them. I should also add that they have the lowest intention to vote too.

A major cause of the increased level of stress is the level of uncertainty about what’s happening in the whole world. No one seems to be sure of anything anymore, and that reminds us of all the things that are out of our control.

2) Another is the pandemic outbreak last year. Like everyone, GenZers are worried about Covid-19. Unfortunately, it affects them differently than most persons.
They listed significant changes to their lives such as:

  • Impossibility to plan for the future. “Why plan anything if everything could go wrong at once?” Toun said that.
  • Reduced motivation to school work and all other school-related activities.
  • Being negatively affected by school closings.
  • Less participation in fun/outdoor activities.

3) Personal stressors.
Personal life problems such as money, health, relationships, and health are major stressors for a large number of adults but they are more common amongst GenZ individuals. More than eight in ten (81 percent) of Gen Zs between the ages of 18 and 21 report money as a source of significant stress. Nearly two in three Gen Zs ages 15 to 17 (63 percent) report their families not having enough money is a significant source of stress.

Additional personal sources of GenZ include: Dealing with gender issues relating to their gender identity/ sexual orientation, not having a job, personal debt, school activities, housing instability(this hit home), hunger, and other family-related problems.

A Healthier way of coping with stress.

Most GenZs turn to social media as a coping mechanism. To some, it provides a feeling of support. They discover they aren’t the only ones going through difficulties and they even meet persons who are willing to help. While to others, it might make them feel judged which in turn could make them feel worse about themselves.

Social media is not the best way to cope with stress, although sometimes it helps.
These are major ways to deal with stress:

  • Take self-care seriously. I made a post about self-love weeks back. You can read about it HERE.
  • Get creative. This covers a wide range of activities such as creating memes, writing, video editing, painting, graphics designing, etc.
  • Accept those things that are beyond control. This is vital. Most times, GenZers forget that we don’t have control over every aspect of life. Some circumstances are simply beyond our control and we have to learn to accept them like that.
  • Give yourself a break. This has been saving lives since 1940! It always works. While at it, you can meditate, listen to music, write in your journal, and do all other relaxing activities.
  • Open up to people. If your mind is unsettled about something, find a trusted person to speak to; like your friends, family, co-workers. Letting your feelings out even though you aren’t looking for specific advice is good.
  • Lastly, always set SMART goals/ reasonable expectations in your daily life. Do not take on more than you can handle. It is fine to turn down a request/offer if you know it will cause you unwelcome and unwanted stress. Don’t take on more financial responsibilities. (especially when you know they are not necessary) Don’t get used to a lifestyle that you can’t maintain. Being pragmatic about your finances is an important strategy for managing stress.

Being stressed is inevitable, but dealing with stress in a good way can help.


Do not forget that you can reach out at oluwaremilekun.remii@gmail.com if you need someone to talk to.

Reference: The American Physiological Association.

How To Practice Self-Love

A friend wrote this, “you are literally your first lover; so you have to love yourself and you have to learn how to do it right.“

Self-love; I like to think is the greatest love of all. Self-love means genuine love for oneself.

Before one can practice it, you have to understand what it is all about.

You really can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself first and I must put it straight to you that you might not be perfect, but you are the best you anyone can find.
Most times, we say we love ourselves. I mean, no one hates oneself right? We all want what is best for ourselves, but do we practice self-love?

Self-love means putting into great consideration your happiness, well-being, what you allow in your personal space. It means taking care of your needs, putting yourself first, and not sacrificing your welfare to please others.

For different people, self-love can mean different things, and that is because we have various ways of taking care of ourselves.
As an individual, it is important to figure out what self-love means to you cause it is an integral part of your mental health.

So what does self-love mean?

  1. Prioritizing yourself
  2. Being sincere to yourself
  3. Being nice to yourself
  4. Setting healthy boundaries
  5. Detaching yourself from toxic relationships/ habits
  6. Forgiving yourself.
  7. Speaking about yourself with love.

It can also be in form of self-care:

  1. Giving your body enough rest.
  2. Taking breaks from work when necessary
  3. Eating healthily; sometimes treating yourself to a specific/favorite meal
  4. Putting time aside to reflect, meditate.
  5. Exercising regularly; talking walks.
  6. Going out with friends etc

You know what self-love is all about now. It means accepting yourself as who and what you are now while working towards growth. It is validating your emotions and putting your physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being first.

Why should you practice self-love?

Simply put, you’ve got no other healthy option.

I mentioned earlier that you are your first lover; so you have to love yourself in the best way possible.

You can’t leave you. It’s a ride-or-die affair. You break, pick yourself up and start all over again. You have to be your number one fan.

‘It was when you realized that no matter who left, you would always stay. That no matter who hurt you, you would find a way to heal again. You’d always be there for yourself. That’s when you learned what self-love meant. It was you and it was always going to be you in the end’ – Ruby Dhal

Read that and pause for ten seconds.

Ways to practice self-love includes:

  1. Quit comparing yourself to others: Don’t do that. Stop it. You have been created beautifully uniquely, specially, and wonderfully. You have all it takes to get you what you want. So why would you compare yourself to someone else? It is perfectly fine to strive to be better and that’s where the place of growth comes in.
  2. Giving yourself the chance to make ‘mistakes’: You see, we want to be the best version of ourselves but somehow we don’t want to do the work. Allow yourself to learn. Allow yourself to try new things. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Start that new thing. So what if it doesn’t work out? At least you did something and you learned from it too. That way, you grow.
  3. Worrying less about people’s opinions: Truth be told, if we concentrate too much on what people think of us, it will be detrimental to our well-being. It’s a difficult thing to please others, and the fact is you can’t really do it. You Only Live Once my darling, So why not live the best of it?
    “Haters will hate, even potatoes will potate.” Never forget.
  4. Set boundaries: Protect your energy from bad aura. Cut off from toxic people and things, you can’t keep allowing people to hurt you over and over again. You need people who really love you and people that make love/ living easy
  5. Taking actions and making decisions based on your needs rather than your wants. Focus more attention on your needs, and focus less on your wants. What you do not need now, it’s a want and you can always get it some other time.

Finally, to achieve all these, you have to be very intentional. Be kind, compassionate, sincere, patient, sweet to yourself. Approach self love the way you would with someone you really care about. Spend time to know yourself, your likes, your dislikes. Date yourself.

As we practice self-love, me must also learn how to deal with peer pressure. Read my article about peer pressure here

P:S- Remember that just as your physical health is important, so is your mental health. Always make yourself happy.

#selflove #howtopracticeselflove #genz #lifeofagenz #adulting #adulthood #loveyourself

Peer Pressure in GenZ

Moving on from the title there is first the peer and then the pressure. Peer is the group you associate yourself with; it could be based on age status, work/academic, social class. Pressure is the weight that comes with being associated; this weight could be both bad and good.

According to Wikipedia peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers, or the effect on an individual who is encouraged and wants to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values, or behaviors to conform to those of the influencing group or individual.

This influence could either be positive or negative, maybe sometimes both. Positive as in dropping bad habits, learning honesty and resourcefulness from a friend, and negative doing otherwise, doing everything but what is good for you as an individual, and even the society as a whole. The tricky one is being influenced both ways simultaneously, you could be learning a skill from a friend, and at the same time picking up some unruly behavior from the person.

Most of the greatest influences ever recorded are done subconsciously; just kidding there isn’t a record as such, but we get influenced SUBCONSCIOUSLY! We don’t always know what happens, it just does.

Talking about peer pressure in teenagers and young adults, this time about the negative type of influence because I’m sure you would agree with me on how EASY it is to get influenced negatively than it is positively. ( Why is that though? Why is the bad habits and behavior always so easy to pick?)

I think I know a few reasons:

1. The quest to fit in, not to be the odd one out. Better a Bode with the crowd, than a Bode in the crowd. So Bode will do everything, he might even break himself in the process but the hurt doesn’t mean a thing to him, being accepted is all that matters at that moment. (which could be years by the way)

2. The young spirit in a teenager is restless and relentless. There is so much to do, many more to discover. This restlessness being fueled by an external factor of wanting to do ‘this’ because he’s seen John do it too, you can imagine how relentless he’ll be set on his new goals, even when he knows that what he is doing isn’t good for him, and might I mention we all know what is good and bad very clearly.

Dealing With Negative Peer Pressure

1. Pay attention to how you feel. I mentioned earlier that we all know what is right and what isn’t. Although we try to justify our wrong by giving 101 reasons to excuse, intuition and instinct are always there, If you don’t feel right about a particular situation then it is most certainly not right.

2. Learn how to say no like you mean it. When faced with a situation you don’t feel right with. Refuse to give in, say no like you mean. If it feels like the No isn’t buying you anywhere, you might want to try the next point.

3. Get out. You can get away from the situation that saying no doesn’t solve by walking away or get out of the circle. Just leave. It is could be hard, especially in cases where so much attachment has been made and you could leave with emotional or even physical bruises.

4. Make friends that share the same value as you do. Surround yourself with people who share the same morals and beliefs as you do. It is always better with a person in your corner.

5. Seek support from parents, trusted older ones…

Dealing with negative peer pressure can be very difficult. Negative peer pressure can do a lot of damage to you. It can change you, real quick. Knowing what to do when faced with it is definitely important too.

Do you need someone to talk to? Send a mail to oluwaremilekun.remii@gmail.com

DEALING WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Dealing with low self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the feeling of being satisfied with one’s abilities or worth. It is recognizing the fact that you deserve to be liked or respected. In other words, it’s what you think of yourself.

There are two categories of persons when we talk about self-esteem. We have people with high self-esteem and people with low self-esteem. Everyone, somehow, someway could lack confidence in him/herself, but teenagers/young adults with low self-esteem are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time.

Several things could result in low self-esteem. Some of which may include:

(1). Unhappy childhood/unsupportive parents concerning careers,e.t.c.

(2). Low performance in academic work.

(3). Ongoing stressful life, amongst others.

(4) Fear

(5)Body-shaming

(6) Poor physical/mental health

(7) Overthinking etc

People with low self-esteem speak ill about themselves and say negative words to themselves when they “self-talk”. They rarely or do not appreciate compliments from people as they assume they are lying. Oftentimes, they compare themselves with others as they feel other people are better than them. As each day passes by, it is important to boost your self-esteem.

It is important to boost your self-esteem

Here are few tips on how to do that:

1. Be kind to yourself. Show yourself love, enough of the hard guy stuff. We know you are a hard guy. Make yourself happy. Do what makes you happy and yes be supportive of yourself. Be your No1 fan.

2. We should also learn that we are unique and we were wonderfully and fearfully created by God. Therefore we should stop comparing ourselves to other people. Try all you can to not compare yourself with other persons. You are different. Be yourself. Do you.

3. Readout words of affirmation every morning before stepping out. It helps in lifting our minds in preparation for the day. Above all, learning to put God first in all we do is key. God has the power to make you happy. Tell him you are tired of being less confident. Talk to him.

4. Always remember that you aren’t in any race with anybody. Life isn’t a competition. Do things at your pace. Just move, keep moving. The worst thing that can happen to someone is if he or she stops moving, so run, walk, crawl, whatever you have to do, do it to keep moving.

5. If you feel very bad, you can speak to someone or see a therapist.

Remember, a healthy mind is important for a healthy body.

#selfesteem #youdeservelove #youareloved #yourmentalhealthmatters #GenZ

Understanding and Dealing with Toxic Parents

There are persons in your life who would do anything to see you smile, that understands you so well, that would always be ready to lift you up and support you anytime you need it. But sometimes those same people act in ways that hurt us and cause pain to us.

It hurts real bad when your parents fall into this category(toxic people) —when the people you think should do everything to make you happy actually does the opposite. It can also be heartbreaking and very challenging, because somehow you have to put up with it and try to understand them.

Who is a toxic parent?

Now, know that there is no clear definition of who a toxic parent is, but when we discuss toxic parents, we are basically describing parents who regularly behave in ways that causes pain/hurt to their children —this hurt can be physical or emotional, fear, obligation or guilt. That means, generally their behavior is one in which negatively affects their child’s life.

“See, the thing is parents are humans too, not super heroes, so they may make mistakes, fail, yell too much and often times complain too much but most at times, their wish it to make things right.”

On the other hand, a toxic parent is one who intentionally or unintentionally is more interested in their well being than whether their actions are hurtful. They probably wouldn’t even admit that what they are doing is wrong and they most definitely wouldn’t apologize for their wrongdoings.

Now here are questions you might like to ask yourself before concluding whether your parents are actually toxic or not. 💜 Do I feel constantly suffocated when I’m around my parents? 💜 Do I feel like I can’t breathe when I’m around them? 💜 Do my parents physically abuse me under the guise of physical discipline?💜 Do my parents emotionally abuse me? Do they tell me I’m worthless or plain bad? 💜 Do my parents treat me without a slightest consideration of my opinions? 💜 Do any/both of my parents sexually harass me or am I being forced to stay silent after someone sexually harasses me?

If you answered yes to any or all of these, you may have a toxic parent in your life. Take a minute or two for that to sink in.

The truth is almost all toxic parents say they love their children, and they may also mean it, but real love goes beyond mere pronunciation. What toxic parents call love hardly comes up as comforting, encouraging, respecting, accepting and valuing behavior. Toxic parents seldomly respect your person, accept your decision. Toxic parents habitually do extremely unloving things all in the name of love

Some Characteristics of Toxic Parents

Lack of Boundaries: Parents that are toxic seem to not respect boundaries as they tend to push, push and push to get their way. You often get tired and frustrated and then give in to their wishes.

Controlling Behaviours: Toxic parents may tend to make decisions concerning you by themselves, without your approval, or even be overly critical of your decisions even as an adult. They may also invade in your privacy.

Manipulative Behaviours: Thisss! They do this a lot! Your parents may try to control you or make you do whatever they want by using shame or guilt to play with your emotions. Some may even go to the extent of holding your time or money or other items as pawns.

Physical and emotional abuse: Abuse may not always be yelling, hitting, threats or something really visible either.

Selfish Behaviors: Toxic parents intentionally or not only think about themselves in their actions. They may be physically or emotionally unavailable and uncaring to things that you need. And you are always left with the question,“What about me?”

Dealing With Toxic Parents.

While it’s very unlikely for you to change your parents’ behaviour, you can change yours, if you will to. Setting boundaries can limit the interactions you have with your parents. It could also help you take charge in some situations where you might have felt helpless before.

As an adult, you may still be overwhelmed or influenced by your parents and you probably feel like you need someone’s permission before you are able to escape from that influence.

No! You do not need anyone’s permission aside from yours. You are the only one who can grant yourself that permission. You are the only one who can change things and be in control of your life, that’s why you have to set boundaries.

Be very straightforward when defining your boundaries: Don’t give space for misinterpretation or others. Be very distinct when setting these boundaries. You should very well know that your toxic parent may not like being told what to do.

Stick to these boundaries: Try as much as possible to stick to the boundaries you set. It’s okay to say No to your parents if they are going too far or have gone too far. Also, try to stay calm and avoid blaming, they could pick on this too.

Regularly check in with yourself: Constantly review these boundaries to know if they are being respected. Are your parents accepting and respecting these boundaries? If not, then you may need to come up with a plan B!

While dealing with your parents, you should also deal with yourself in terms of healing. It’s important to take note of these experiences and how they affected you. Think about how they make you act, think about how they make you feel. You might find it needful to write your feelings down to analyze it, or you could speak to someone — a trusted family member or friend.

However, for some, this healing process is always more difficult and complicated, and it can be pretty overwhelming. You don’t have to go through healing process alone. It doesn’t have to be so tough and tiring. You could speak to a professional therapist.

Do not pattern your life someway because of your parents mistakes. They’ve made the mistake, you don’t have to dwell in it for the rest of your life. They were the faulty ones, not you, always remember that.

As you grow up, and perhaps begin to have children of yours,do well to remember how miserable your childhood was, remember how you always felt whenever your parents did something to hurt you and determine not to do them to your kids. If you see yourself exhibiting certain behaviours relating to parents toxicity, you could try out these tips. 💜 List out the things you’d love to change. 💜 Write beside it how you’d love to behave instead. 💜 Choose the most important amongst it and begin to act on it. 💜 After a while, preferably after few months, take your time to review your actions for those last months, and check if you’ve been making positive progress.

Did you grow up with a toxic parent as a child? As an adult now, have you been able to deal with it positively? Are you still dealing with it or you are still putting up with their toxicity? Will you like to share your story? Then do well to send us a mail at oluwaremilekun.remii@gmail.com

Thank you, always! We love you!💜💜

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!

Hey guys! Welcome to The Purple Page Official Blog, and this is our first blog post! Yaaayyyy! I hope you enjoy it.💜

The recent happenings in this nation hasn’t been beyond anyone. I know some people would like to act like this is none of their business but as much as they say this,it is every of their business, we are deeply into all this.

Some people have passed on, some have been hurt so bad, physically, emotionally and to be sincere, most people are actually in a mental mess right now, people have had nightmares, some can’t sleep, this, our mental and emotional state of mind matters, so very much.

This is why we’ve decided to write something about it. We would be explaining five major tips in this blog post on how to maintain your mental health in this time.

★ Stay active.

Continually exercise your body. Regular exercise is capable of helping you concentrate, sleep better, and generally feel better too. We must not forget that it relaxes your body too, and it helps boost self confidence.

Exercise doesn’t necessarily mean going to the gym or doing strenuous sports. Taking walks or performing house chores can keep you active too.

Professionals say most people should do at least thirty minutes of exercise five days a week.

Do not remain idle.

★Be positive.

Over the years, research have been made to show that how you think about yourself have a lot to do with how you feel.
When we see things and ourselves negatively, we might end up having  experiences that matches it.

Avoid doing this—thinking negatively, instead of doing that, start practicing words that promote positivity, focus on good things.

★Eat Well.


This might sound weird or funny, but it isn’t, when you eat good meals, it nourishes your entire body, your brain inclusive. Eat a balanced diet. Each class of food have their function in the body.
Add vegetables and fruits, they are filled with nutrients that feeds every cell in your body. Carbohydrates has a certain chemical that helps calm you, Protein have theirs too, help to keep you alert and so on. So let’s eat very well.


★Speak to someone.

This is a very major tip. Just talk to someone, explain how you feel to people. Knowing that you are valued by other people actually help you in being more positive. If need be, you can even see a counsellor or therapist. Just don’t keep quiet about it. You’d be surprised at the extent to which these little talks go.

★Take a break.

This actually help a lot, there are days you’d feel so overwhelmed and you feel nothing is going on in your life and that you are useless, days like these, just take a pause, stop, take time to breathe, you could count from one to ten. On a larger note, you could take a break from social media, you could switch off your phone and just go sleep, let yourself some rest. Take this break till whenever you feel you have a clear head.
It helps, most times, a whole lot.


So these are some of what you can do to maintain your mental health, we have others like: Stay away from pressure, go to bed on time, kill time and all.


I really really hope that somehow this has helped you! That’s the reason for this blog site, to help you live, really and better.

If you need to talk to anybody about anything at all, you could always comment here, or better, send us an e-mail. We are always here for you, we promise. We love you!💜

The Journey Begins

The journey to positive growth has begun!

I hope this page inspires and motivate you to truly start living the best life you ought to.

I also hope that we’ll rise once again, just like the sun does. I hope that every time we move our lips to smile, that they be genuine ones, and not those fake ones, yeah, I’m saying that I want us to be happy

And yeah, we love Purple because of everything it stands for!💜

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